Poem of the month: "Letter to myself" by Mariam Wahdan

Photo by Debby Hudson

I am sorry .

I am sorry for not being the best self .

I am sorry for losing my temper and my passion when it is most needed

I am sorry for draining all your energy for others delight.

Sorry for not taking care of your physical health , until you became a corpse

Sorry for not capturing every opportunity that could have helped u succeed

Sorry for letting myself burn for someone elses get away

And for everyone’s judgments

I … am sorry for excluding u from people

For making you feel you are not worth it

For pushing you to self harm …. Push you to commit suicide.

Sorry for not being your supporter , your backbone

Forgive me for igniting your sparks , your emotions

And light up your fears your regrets.

Sorry for letting people say you’re fat and ugly

Mostly sorry for calling You FAT and UGLY.

I am sorry for causing you mental breakdowns and social problems

Sorry …. For keeping overthinking as your guard , partner in the middle of the night

When you needed my support and love.

But ,

I give you my words , my soul and my sincere to change the fact that I

can never support you and I can never change.

I am trying , over and over again , …. I won’t be lost anymore ….. I will not Deteriorate myself away.

I will stop your bleeding right now, of the past , and in the near future.